Why is it so FUCKING DIFFICULT to upload pictures on multiply now?!
Do i need some new different godknowswhat?
I'm totally not tech-savvy in this and it's annoying the SHITE outta me cos i've been fiddling for HOURS GODDAMMIT FUCKING HELL

Someone make me a proper website PLEASE!!!

*ROARS*

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

Super Goldfish Memory

I swear my memory is getting worse and worse
Which scares the hell out of me
Apparently not enough to make me stop drinking 0_o

Let's take a look at an example:

I bring out pen and paper to write down things i need to buy

So when i'm in 1U and i remember something
I whip out the necessary tools to aid my memory
While listening to AshleyTheMonkey and QueenKanch babble...
Ohya! I need to get a namecard holder!
I rummage through my bag for my pen and notebook
Hmm where iS it...
*half a minute later*
AH! Here it is! Damn the huge bag... took so bloody long to find it
I hold my beloved Pilot-C4 and fairy notebook in the air triumphantly

And i forgot what it is i wanted to write down.

-_-

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

Ants In My Pants

Yesterday i felt a sharp dot of pain on my bum
While having a conversation with someone in the office
Restraining from yelping out loud in pain and hopping
I ran into the bathroom to inspect my injury...

... and found a giant red ant taking a happy stroll in my panties

0_o

Ants in my pants?! Wtf
Not funny man
Do you know how very the painfuls red ant bites are...
Whatmore on such sensitive areas
How the hell did it even get there?!

See even the ants wanna get in my pants

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

The Squirrel Came Again

The squirrel  came again last night
I tried to make him flee
And yet he lingered all around
With winks and grins of glee

The squirrel came again last night
Too soon from his last trip
For only just a week before
He made me lose much kip

The squirrel came again last night
I own up it's part my fault...
Saw him creeping from afar
Yet didn't stop and bolt

I did what they said i should
Unwillingly and stalled for time
Played unfair and stole a hug
Which no doubt was sublime

The squirrel came back again
I'm tired of his face
He wears me out and tears me out
I doubt he feels disgrace

I saw him turn and wink at me
He'll definitely be back for more
And when he does... i really hope
Today will be of yore

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

Daddy Speaks To Me Regarding Alcohol

Bout two weeks back...

My father had some coupons to give to my brother and i
"Nah, got some GSC ones... two for Nick and two for you."
"Okies, thanks."
"Oh yea got one more..."
"Alcohol coupon?!"
"... drink coupon for Renaissance. Yes, it's alcohol, so it obviously goes to you."

Yippee.

 

 

The next day...

I had just spent ages attaching family photos to emails and sending them off to my aunt

Upon waking up, Daddy said
"Aunty Geraldine wants to speak to you"
"Oh... when did she say that?"
"Last night on the phone"
"Wokay."
"Yea. She said to stop drinking so much."

0_o

He continued
"You know, drinking wine is okay but drinking hard liqour all the time is really bad..."
I tried to save face.
"I drink more wine at night now! If i could choose, i'd always take the wine!"

Daddy cocked his head to one side as he reached for his pack of Kents

"It doesn't make a difference if you drink alot of wine *and* hard liqour okay! I'm serious, in ten years time, you'll be suffering from liver disease. Then you'll have to get a transplant..."

He paused to light his ciggarette
I was just about to retaliate with a retort on how he can't get a lung transplant
He spoke just as my mouth was half open

"Smoking, on the other hand, has long-term effects."

He grins.

"Whatthehell!"

Then he proceeded to give me a cocktail coupon for Renaissance Hotel
And i told him i got him some Dunhill Top Leaf ciggies and a lighter

Hmm
So first we blared each other about our drinking and smoking problems
And theN we give each other things that don't exactly go hand-in-hand with our words...
Marvelous!

I told Loga everything and he laughed and laughed and laughed
"Your family damn messed up wei!"

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

Trying For Custody

All proceeds from various paycheques i'm receiving are going straight to Daddy
I know i never mentioned he took away my credit card *shy*
But oh woe, he did
I have to face it

Dave asked me to help him keep his IC for him in my wallet
We were going clubbing
He's afraid it might slip out while he's busy skanking around

"Oh well, it can slip into where my credit card *used* to be...," said i miserably
"Huh?! What happened to it?" questions that monkey of an Ashley
oops i didn't tell her yet... intentionally
"Erm erh... my dad took it away till i pay my whole bill back." i said quietly with my head down and eyes cast up

"HA!" squealed Ash gleefully and pointed at me with a mean finger
"I knEW that was going to happen!"
"Oh shut up...!"

As the dreary weeks went by where i slogged to earn
So that i could regain custody of my card, other close friends were bound to find out
Their reactions varied

"Where's your card?" - PassedOutBen
"My dad took it till i pay up all my bills."
"Your father is a smart man."

"Ha. So how now?" - ProGermanAaron

"How whaT, pay him back when i get my money la..."
"Hey it's your fault okay... what do you expect, buy fairy stickers and ponies..."
"It was the last book! And the ponies were on sale..."
"If i were your dad, i oso scared man. See the bill - pony, pony, alcohol, pony, pony, pony, alcohol..."
"Oi..."

 

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

Joyce Goes Shopping

I ran around the whole day with Ashley.
I rewarded myself for being good and hardworking in December by going shopping today... even though i haven't got the pay yet.
*guilty look*

heh.

I erm charged it to the card.
ProGermanAaron was scolding me from his office thanks to AshleyTheMonkey

She grabbed my mobile phone from me and said,
"You know what she did? You know she's supposed to use her card for emergencies, right? And she bought a  fairy sticker book with it!"

It was so worth it, i swear...
Remember how i wanted to buy another sticker book  last time and i didn't?
I shall scan my new book  later when i'm free and show all of you what a total bargain it was for 19 ringgit.

I love flower fairies.
It's so much like my existing tattoos and now i feel like getting more!!!
"You already have two wei. How many fairies you want?!" - PassedOutBen
"But... but... i could have a huge beautiful one on my back where they're all joined and there's flowers and things!"
"You want to have a playground on your back...?"

RainbowGayDave joined Ashes and me at Chilli's after that.
I had my usual beloved tomato juice cos my stomach still felt wonky  from drinking too much on Sunday night.

I went to Bukit Bintang in the evening with AshleyTheMonkey & FaiTheMai to catch some fashion show by LICT. But we were 20 minutes late *whoops*.
So i ended up being terribly obsessed with my Joyce Rewards Self Program by trying to buy new slutty tops to party in.

"I need new slutty tops."
"Why la, not enough meh." - ProGermanAaron
"No... i haven't shopped in months and i'm always wearing the same slutty tops out clubbing!"
"Then don't go la."

He obviously knew i wouldn't take heed to his suggestion.

By the time the shops were closing, i was a happy camper.
I had acquired

Seven new tops - 3 decent and 4 marvelously slutty
One pair of diamante sandals
One denim skirt
Two kiddy books

All with.... Rm100 in my wallet.
Okay.
So i cheated.
I used my card.... 0_o 
i *am* gonna pay the bill!
The total was Rm 300
Value, right!

The problem started when i wanted to buy this classy top
They said i'd have to purchase Rm 50 and above to sign for it
Okay then
I ventured to another part of the shop
Big mistake...
Big discoveries!
And the most evil thing is, they have this discount promotion going on:

Buy 1 top, you get a 20% discount
Buy 2 tops, you get a 30% discount
Buy 3 tops, you get a whopping 50% discount!!!

"Miss, if you get this one too *holds up top i'm pondering whether to buy* you get all at half price off!"
What. Half price off? *ears perk up*
"Really...?" *tries not to sound too excited*
"Yea!... *waves top evilly in my face* If you dowan then nevermind la, but then only 30% discount..." *casually chucks 3rd top to the side*

WALAU!

That felt like someone putting Malibu under my nose to sniff then taking it away!

evilevilevilevilevilevil

What kind of TWISTED MINDS do these people have?!
Do they know the kind of effect it has on us girls?!
Yes... so i fell into their trap.
I don't care!
Because now i have new slutty tops to satisfy me for weeks!!!

BWAHAHAHA!!!!

*hugs tops crazily*

 

P/S Dave, you're been asking for the post bout hot men and babies. Here.

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

 

My Tuesday Nights Were Holy

 

As holy as Sundays were for my mother

 

Everyone knows i was a crazyloyal Sex And The City fan

I would even GO HOME at 10:30 pm on Tuesdays nights just to catch it on HBO years ago

Joyce at home by 11?

 

That’s insane.

 

 

In fact, i would make sure i’d be able to be at home in time for the show

“What time you all going to leave?”

“9 something la...”

“Sure yea? Cos i want to watch SATC you know...”

“Yes, Joyce, i know! Tuesdays. 10:30. Just come out la! I promise i’ll fetch you back okay!”

“Okay okay.”

 

Then i’d go ballistic if i was late by even a mere two minutes

 

There *was* one time VeinsJason promised the same thing

We went to yam cha in Kepong and he superdelayed my return home

“Wait.... i want to smoke first.”

Slowly smokes

“Wait.... one more....”

Slowly smokes another

 

On the way home

“I have to drop by the petrol station.”

“For whaT?! Pump petrol later la!”

“No la. I need to pee.”

“WhAT?! Later la!”

“You want me to piss in the car is it.”

 

So we had to stop

Fucking hell *i* almost peed in my pants out of anxiety

 

As he pulls away from the his parking spot at the gas station

He stops in front of the air pump

“What are you doing?”

“Need to pump the tyres.”

“What the FUCK?! PUMP LATER LA!!!”

“The tyres damn soft la.”

“I’m going to miss my show and hate youuuu!!”

“You wouldn’t want the car to have an accident right?”

 

He then slowly  pumps each and every goddamn tyre carefully

I almost hyperventilated and died

 

Needless to say, i was late for my beloved show

I caught the last 5 minutes

Forgave him (for i started dl them before they even aired on HBO after that)

But obviously never forgot

 

He should be back from UK soon... *thoughtful plotting*

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

My kid won't be no ho. 

Kylie's 'Locomotion' just came on the radio (my mum likes Light&Easy... well so do i *cough*)
My memory of this song comes from kindergarten.
It was our cheerleading song.
I was a cheerleader.
At 4.

I know, i know, what kind of skanky kindergarten did i come from where they made us wear short skirts and lie around the field, right.
random thought: Paedophile Paradise EW
It just reminded me of those new-age Barbies called Bratz.

How would i know? OF COURSE i know. I prollie visit Toys'R Us more often than your kid sister.

Now Bratz has the skankiest doll clothes ever. They look more like an 18-year-old's dressing.
Crop tops.
Short don't-you-just-want-me-to-bend-over skirts.
Cute come-fuck-me checks.
High look-at-my-long legs heels.
Low look-at-my-boobies tops.

Hmm i just read the list and realise i wear those clothes.

BUT NEVER THE MATTER.

I AM 22 and can wear anything i want godammit.

The point is these dolls are targeted at 9-13 year olds.
Even though i think that the clothes are pretty cool...

Hell i don't want my kid influenced into dressing like a ho.
Not before she has breasts anyway.

I'm just gonna deny her Bratz and buy her Vogue UK for fashion education.
But what will she do for toys then...
My Little Pony of course.
Need you ask?

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

 

Don't Diss The Brands, Says Ben

AshleyTheMonkey told us FaiTheMai was in Singapore and PassedOutBen startled
You know why?
Because
Singapore has Far East Plaza
And Far East Plaza has...
Ori streetwear

Ash and i started making fun of the brandnames

"Hey! Maybe we should start our own line!"
"Yea! What kind of names should we have?"
"Since they have such cool and controversial names like 'Surrender', we can name it something like 'Give Up'"
"BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

We both couldn't continue joking because it iS fairly difficult to laugh, breathe and talk at once
POB slit his eyes
"Oi. Don't diss the brand okay."
We managed to breathe again

"And then *still laughing* we can replace 'Obey' with 'Listen To Me'!"
"BWAHAHHAHAHA!!!!"

We both encountered the breathing-laughing-talking problem again
"Oiiiii! Don't DISS the BRANDS!"
POB was losing it
Now he knows how i feel when people mock the fairies heh
Later on in the car...

"Damn bad. Diss the brands."
"It's funnnnnyyyy!"
"Fine. Then what about 'SRS'?"
"Easy, it can be 'AXA'! Bang only."
"Fuck you la!"
"Then, 'Neighbourhood can be like...'Community!' AHAHAHA!!!!!!"
"Oi!"
"AHAHAHA!!!!!"

 

www.xanga.com/kinkybluefairy

Two Weeks Ago

FreckledAdam was trying to quit smoking
I didn't see why i had to hop onto the LetUsQuitSomethingBad Bandwagon too

"I know. Since i'm trying to quit smoking, why don't you try cutting down on your drinking?"
"WHAT?! For what?!"

Should have seen my face man
So classic

Botticelli, Baby!

I just remembered, LogaJessieMichelleAmanda and i were having dinner at Bukit Bintang kl
I was staring and staring at a reproduction of this painting...

Trying hard to remember who the artist was and i finally got it

"Bah, i was thinking my memory is awful as hell and was trying to remember the name of the artist,"
I said to LaughingLoga as i nodded my head towards the painting
"So who is it?" he asked
"It's by Botticelli."
"Are you sure? It looks like it's by Michaelangelo."
"No la... it's by Botticelli.." i said firmly
"It's The Birth of Venus right?"
Oh how LaughingLoga shocks me sometimes
"Yea yea... wow you know!"
"Yea la... it's by Michaelangelo!"

Now he was making me doubt myself 0.001 percent
For he *did* know the name of the painting after all

"Noooo i'm pretty sure it's by Sandro Botticelli!" 
I shifted in my seat, unsure of my memory incapabilities caused by alcohol

We argued for another minute before i seethed,
"I'll GO HOME and FIND OUT!"

And sure enough

It's Botticelli

hA!

I win.

*hops around LaughingLoga annoyingly*

The Cheek

Well
I just found out its some malay fucker who has in possession all my things
He had the cheek* to email me saying he's more 'tertarik and nak berkenalan' with me
Prollie cos my email was on all my new name cards
I just hope the evil fairies get him one day... *chants spell*

Ivan from Zouk said he and security found my non-valuable (to everyone else but me) things strewn around the rave area
Namecards EvitaPeroniScrunchie HouseKeys MakeUp
Daddy will be relieved to know the housekeys aren't lost
Though we changed the locks already just in case as my address is in my wallet
I won't even write down everything else i lost cos it's just silly to mourn over it

I got a new haircut
Very pixie punk
"New cut, new beginning," said FreckledAdam
"Shit you look more like me," said AshleyTheMonkey

I like

I feel like a boy when i wash my hair
Of course, not everyone likes it
There are still the boys who think that girls are more alluring with long lustrous hair
(to brush their bare breasts with when it bed, i presume?)

I went to Bliss for the Henessy thing
RainbowGayDave was tipsy and gave my jeans pocket a sip of Henessy


Atmos was holding the first qualifying round of the shuffling competition
It was kinda boring but i thought ThisGirlChristina had some excellent moves

The MTV Digi Party was at Espanda
Amir was *such* a kinky thing just now...
Never in my life have i seen him so outgoing!


The Loft had awesome music as usual where i slutted with MafiaMary
Zouk had it hard

And then i pottered home cos i have to go off for a wedding shoot
At 6 am
It's now... almost 5 am... crap

I WOKE up at 6 pm yesterday... so my sleeping time is damn screwed up now